Im so bad.. I know im invading the privacy of this person… bUt I cant help it! really…
April 27,2006
This day is so tiring, not because of my body ( i didnt do things around here) anyways I’m troubled emotionally…yup! as in! so silly of me.. It is because of my bestfriend…(how stupid!) right? Its been six months since we last talk to each other…haay! I know our friendship is not yet over and it isn’t close yet. In this past few das I always remembered the times we spent together… Nanghihinayang talaga akosa friendship namin… If only I can turn back time! but then again if i did, I will not be in my current situation right now… How i wish I can bring us back, our friendship I mean. I miss the writting of letters. texting each other… everyday, everynight. The meals that w spent together, the endless chitchats. Walking in the streets of Intramuros, helping me with my bags. Always giving me his wonderful smile, his hellos and goodbyes. I really wish I could take it back. I will be honest here in my journal. On the times that we spent together, I was falling for him, It wasn’t intentional really. All I asked is a simple friendship that I will sure treassure. But then you give in… you fell in love with me, At first I can’t believe it. B’coz I know you are just drawn knowing your situation at that time. Haay! I didnt confess to you my feelings and not ever! I wouldn’t! I can’t I will just keep it to myself. In that months that we shared. I stand by you.. giving you advices… oh my God!( I think I’m writting a letter to him) Then it all shattered into pieces. I didn’t thought our friendship will end that way. I know you have your resons I understand but I to have reasons. Haay! I made up my mind… when I come back there i will talk to him, try to fix things clear them up. I’m ready for the rejection of my friendship to him. But atleast I talked to him. No letters, no signs..just me and him…
This days i always dreamt of him, that we are friends again like before. I was so happy in my dreams. But when I woke up I realized that its was all a dream and its not reality! I don’t know what will be my actions when i talk to him. I hope he will. Well. its one of my wish on my coming birthday… Bestfriend, if you only knew…that you are not a curse, you’re a blessing to everyone that loves you… including me…
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